Emotional decisions

Don’t get all emotional about it. He’s tired and emotional. I’m an emotional wreck. I don’t want to make some horrible decision based on out-of-control emotions. You just need to control your emotions. Think logically about it. Make a rational decision.

Emotions get a bad rep. We have a neat binary between emotion, on one side, and rationality and logic, on the other side. There’s no contest over which one wins! We value logic and rationality far above emotion, especially when it comes to making decisions. Even when it comes to relationships, which are defined by emotion, we want to be rational and logical. Because that’s good and emotion’s bad. So we draw lists, we weigh up the pros and cons, we conjure up various scenarios, we do everything in our power to make a purely rational decision. But there’s no such thing.

Decisions are emotional

The neurologist Richard Cytowic started off looking at people with synaesthesia (when one sense is stimulated but you experience another, like The Man Who Tasted Shapes). His research led him to some extraordinary discoveries about the brain – particularly about where we make decisions, and how we make decisions.

To make decisions, we have to evaluate what factors to include, how important they are, whether they’re positive and negative – all that list-making pro-and-con stuff. Neurologists call this “valence”, we call it decision-making. But here’s the thing. It’s not the nice, logical, rational cortex that’s in charge of calculating valence. It’s the limbic system – the “emotional core of the human nervous system”.

The limbic brain has retained its function as the decider of valence [during the evolutionary process]. What the cortex does is provide more detailed analysis about what is going on in the world so that the limbic brain can decide what is important and what to do. (Cytowic, The Man Who Tasted Shapes)

You can send your logical brain off for more information, you can demand lists from it, you can order up a detailed evaluation of pros and cons. But your logical brain can’t make the decision: biologically, it’s just not capable. It doesn’t have the wiring. The logical brain is the adviser; emotions are king. But the adviser is trying to get at the throne – and overthrow the king.

We make decisions behind our own backs

Since 1965, we’ve known that decisions somehow escape our conscious minds. Kornhüber ran experiments to test people’s decision-making. He wired them up, then all they had to do was move their finger, whenever they felt like it. He discovered that the brain built up its activity, its “readiness potential” to make the decision, almost a whole second before they made the conscious decision. (In neurological terms, that’s years!) By the time they made a conscious decision, the decision was already made. As Cytowic describes it…

Such a decision is an interpretation we give to a behavior that has been initiated someplace else by another part of ourselves well before we are aware of making a decision at all. In other words, the decision has been made before we are aware of the idea to even make a decision. If “we” are not pulling the strings, then who or what is? The answer is, it is an unknown part that is unfathomable to introspection. … Our conscious self is the tip of an iceberg.

We all know the feeling: that mad decision that got made almost behind our own back which we now have to explain to the world – and ourselves! Logically we think it’s the wrong choice; somehow we made that choice. Psychologists call this “cognitive dissonance”, the horrible feeling of holding two opposite ideas, and we try to smooth it over by explaining it all away, rationalizing it. We come up with logical reasons after the choice was made.

Getting access to our decision-making

If you consider that we all want to make rational decisions, and all our decisions are actually emotional, then we’re all suffering cognitive dissonance. Maybe, in this case, emotional dissonance is a better phrase. Emotions are going to make our decisions anyway, so instead of trying to ignore them or write them out the equation, perhaps it’s a good idea to look at them. Which emotions are going to make your decisions?

After a lifetime of dismissing our emotions from decision-making, it’s hard to learn to hear them again. The logical brain keeps jumping in and shouting. In her forthcoming book on Energy, Carol Hautot describes a range of access tools that let you make contact again with your emotions, with your energy, and with the universal energy. One of the simplest is just this:

Does it make me feel light or does it make me feel heavy?

Your logical cortex can still do its job – gathering information, giving a detailed analysis – and it can learn its place. It doesn’t have the power to make decisions and no amount of stern self-control will rewire our brains. The ultimate decision is emotional: access the emotion.

The king is dead... Long live the king!

The reason emotions get such a bad rap is that we let the wrong emotions rule the day.  With the goal of creating heaven on earth by December 21^st, 2012, isn’t now the time overthrow the king and crown a new king?  With fear-based emotions such as anger, hatred, misery and rage ruling our existence for so many years, isn’t it about time the human species evolved to a more vibrant existence and crowned “Love” as the new king?  Aren’t we tired of bowing to grief and guilt, sadness and suffering, hostility and hysteria?  The problem isn’t living by your emotions: the problem is what emotions we choose to live by.

Aren’t we, as a race, ready to live by emotions that lifts our spirits?  Emotions like awe, euphoria, gratitude, hope, joy, and love – emotions that make us feel vibrant and light, and not dark and heavy. In our April 5^th blog, But the Greatest of these is Love, we looked at out how all major religions preach love without always creating much actual love: fear-based emotions toward people who don’t share their beliefs can override the conscious belief that love is the answer.  So how do we resolve such an issue?  By crowning a new, all-powerful king: unconditional love.

Now is the time to have an emotional rescue and let love make our decisions for us, without any conditions.  The first decision is to make a more vibrant and loving planet by letting unconditional love rule the day – especially on December 21, 2012 and onward.