But the greatest of these is Love

How can religion, a touchstone of morality and compassion, seem to create hatred? Perhaps it’s not religion that’s at fault, but how we attach ourselves to religion. If we detach our egos from our beliefs, we can follow our beliefs more truly – and learn to love.

How can religon invoke hatred? Some argue that the problem is believing in one true God. If you believe that, you have to be partisan and believe the other religions just have it completely wrong. But let’s look more carefully at the monotheist religions. Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are all Abrahamic religions, named after Abraham, the father of Israel. Abraham had two sons: Isaac, through whom the Christian and Jewish lines descend; and Ishmael, the ancestor of Muhammad, the Muslim prophet of God. That first divide sowed the seeds of the Crusades: almost two hundred years of bloodthirsty war. Christianity and Judaism separated with the birth of Jesus. Years of anti-Semitism and persecution followed, while Judaism and Islam still fight a horrific battle over their shared Holy Land. Did religion cause this violence?

Christianity, Judaism, and Islam all preach love – above all. In the New Testament of the Bible, Jesus says, “The greatest of these is Love.” Judaism says that God chose the Jewish people to set an example of holiness and ethical behavior, through what they do. In Islam, one of the five pillars of faith is charity, or zakāt. This is literal charity, giving 2.5% of their wealth to the poor, but it’s also more: it’s sharing happiness among God’s creation, be it through kindness, smiles, or taking good care of the environment and animals. Sikhism, another major monotheist religion, declares that everyone is equal and should be treated equally, and that a good life involves meditating on God and good deeds to others.

Other religions also put love and compassion at the center. For example, the Hindu ethical code, Dharma, asks its followers to act in service to God and to humanity. Shinto, a Japanese faith, promotes harmony and purity in everything – not just in actions, but in a pure, sincere heart. Paganism says, “An’ it harm none, do as you will.” Buddhism has five precepts that all its believers should follow, and the most important is "Avoid killing or harming any living thing."

So what’s going wrong? The hatred and violence didn’t end with the crusades. It’s not restricted to the war in the Middle East, or to terrorists. It breathes every time we look at hate and suspicion at those who don’t follow our beliefs. It breathes when we condemn people who don’t do what we think is right. It breathes when we think like the Pharisees. It breathes in every angry hate-filled campaign. But however strongly we feel about something, hate, anger, and violence can never be right. You can’t defend your religion by breaking its most important rule – love. So what do we do?

The religions aren’t wrong – they preach love. We’re wrong. It’s not religion that’s at fault, it’s how we relate to our religions. The problem is the ego-mind, which says “my beliefs”. The important word must never be “my” – it must be “beliefs”. The belief must always matter more than ourselves. We have to let go of our egos and our need to be right, so we can put the true message first. And the true message doesn’t say hate the unbeliever, scourge them into obedience, harangue them into belief – it says LOVE. Love everyone. Help everyone. Hurt no-one. And as that little voice rises up saying, “Yes, but…” – let go of it. That’s not the religious creed speaking: that’s the ego, needing to be right. Let go.

The key is detachment. The ego will always exist and want to be right, but we don’t have to obey it. We can put our beliefs above our egos. And until we do, we’re like hungry people holding a recipe for cake, saying “Isn’t this great?” But the recipe isn’t the cake – it’s how to make cake. Having the recipe is not eating the cake. We have to follow the recipe. The recipe says, in every different language, love one another. This has to be more important than being “right” and not following the recipe can never be right.

In the end, no matter what religion you practice, spirituality is not an intellectual exercise that is either right or wrong. It's a state of being, where you experience light, love and a feeling of connection. The need to be right only puts up a wall to this state of being. Detachment from our ego-mind’s need to be right tears down this wall and opening our hearts magnifies the experience of this state. And for the human race to learn how to detach ourselves, while practicing our most fundamental beliefs, will be the corner stone of our spiritual growth and evolution.

How can we detach? The ego says, “But they’re wrong!” – let go. We mustn’t attach to religion, pinning our egos to it – we must follow the beliefs. And the same is true of this blog: this is not The Way, this is a way. And here are some of the ways to detach. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

• • Christianity: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (New Testament)
• • Christianity: “Now these three remain – faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (New Testament)
• • Islam: “Yet of mankind are some who take unto themselves (objects of worship which they set as) rivals to Allah, loving them with a love like (that which is the due) of Allah (only) - those who believe are stauncher in their love for Allah.” (Al-Baqara)
• • Hinduism: “One who performs his duty without attachment, surrendering the results unto the Supreme Lord, is unaffected by sinful action, as the lotus is untouched by water.” Bhagavad-Gita
• • Buddhism: "Whenever thinking imbued with sensuality [or ill will or harmfulness] had arisen, I simply abandoned it, destroyed it, dispelled it, wiped it out of existence." (Thanissaro)
• • Buddhism: “When his mind is rightly-gone, rightly developed, has rightly risen above, gained release, and become disjoined from sensual pleasures, then whatever fermentations, torments, & fevers there are that arise in dependence on sensuality, he is released from them. He does not experience that feeling.” (Thanissaro)
• • Sikhism: “The answer is simple: without this absolute surrender of the last vestiges of ego and selfhood and without such complete absorption in the object of one's love, one cannot attain that unwavering concentration of all one's faculties which is the prerequisite of all inner progress. Absolute love and self-surrender are only other aspects of complete and flawless concentration.” (Adi Granth)
• • Judaism: "You shall not covet...anything that is your neighbor's... You shall not desire your neighbor's house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or anything that is your neighbor's. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also". (Old Testament)
• • Baha'i: “by detachment is intended the detachment of the soul from all else but God.” …and… "The essence of detachment is for man to turn his face towards the courts of the Lord, to enter His Presence, behold His Countenance, and stand as witness before Him." (Tablets of Baha'u'llah)
• • Taoism: “Fame or Self: Which matters more? Self or Wealth: Which is more precious? Gain or Loss: Which is more painful? He who is attached to things will suffer much. He who saves will suffer heavy loss. A contented man is rarely disappointed. He who knows when to stop does not find himself in trouble. He will stay forever safe.” (Tao Te Ching)